"I like slow relationships."

/July 2022

"Caigen Tan" says: "years are long, but busy people promote themselves; romances and snowy moons are idle, and those who disturb themselves are redundant."

in this day and age, urging voices can be heard constantly.

in the choice between fast and slow, too many people are in a hurry to reach their destination.

however, there is no hurry in life, slow down so that we can enjoy the good scenery along the way and feel good in leisure.

I like relationships that are a little slower, full of sincerity, full of rituals, and very thorough.


it is sincerity

to have a slow acquaintance.

I have read such a sentence: "those who associate with others, do not seek temporary intimacy, and those who are easy to see joy will easily see anger."

that's true.

if two people get acquainted with each other, if they only want to be happy for a moment, without the sincerity to slow down, they start rashly, often with unknown selfish desires.

in the TV series "Twenty No doubts", Duan Jiabao, a rich girl, met Xiao Bing, who was also chasing stars on the way to chasing stars. because of their seemingly common hobbies, the two instantly talked to each other and became "good friends".

without knowing where Xiao Bing is a student, what she is called or what she does, Duan Jiabao regards her as a good friend and even gives her an expensive welcome gift based on "We are fans of the same idol."

Xiao Bing politely invited Duan Jiabao to dinner, but when she paid the bill, she found that the price was very expensive, and she could not come down to Taiwan.

the silly Duan Jiabao immediately used his membership card with which he had made a lot of money to pay, revealing his identity as a rich girl.

since then, Xiao Bing has invited Duan Jiabao to attend activities, eat and sing songs from time to time, but every time Duan Jiabao pays for it.

Luo Yan, a good friend in the same dormitory, warned: "A really good friend is the kind who can give you coupons instead of eating and drinking all day."

Xiao Bing and Duan Jiabao get to know each other quickly, but they don't really want to be friends. They just want to take advantage of Duan Jiabao and treat Duan Jiabao as a cash cow.

finally, the mask was uncovered, and the two men did not conspire against each other.

he Jing once said: "you suddenly meet someone who fits you perfectly. You must be careful. Without such a person, he may approach you purposefully. Don't believe in fairy tales too much."

maybe life inadvertently, we will meet some people, get along well with each other and talk to each other very much.

but when we get to know each other more slowly, we will see each other's values and temperament, and understand the sincerity in our ever-changing lives.

intersect more slowly than the heart, in order to have real sincerity.

slow down, take some time to understand preferences, use some energy to tolerate habits, and take some effort to respect style, so that we can really treat each other sincerely, hug each other for a long time.


fall in love more slowly, it's a ceremony

Mu Xin wrote in "before slow":

"the sun used to be slow, cars, horses, mail are slow, and you can only love one person all your life."

slow down to get emotional, slow to get to know someone, slow to talk about a relationship, this is the ritual of life, is the proof of love.

A few days ago, a friend posted an atlas of the 10th anniversary of falling in love with her husband and the second anniversary of their marriage in moments.

she wrote: "Twelve years of life, we slowly fall in love, my birthday is the anniversary of love, your birthday is the wedding anniversary, may we slowly fall in love with each other for the rest of our lives and go on full of ceremony!"

friends and husbands met in a college club, young, talented and handsome. In the long-running communication, the two people have feelings for each other and have a good feeling for each other.

however, instead of getting together in a hurry or holding hands vaguely during the booing of their friends, they waited two months to announce that they were together on their friends' birthdays.

she said, "I want him to love me slowly, but he can be full of rituals and love me a little longer."

in this era of fast-food love, they communicate slowly, respect each other's feelings, love each other slowly, make good use of the ritual of each day, and make ordinary days become romantic because of a sense of ritual.

fall in love more slowly, life is more ceremonial, rituals are more daily.

in Kanghara, Japan, there is a pair of old people who are over 80 years old. They have experienced war, life and death and poverty together, and have been in love hand in hand for 76 years.

for a long time, they have given a beautiful love ritual to every day.

in spring, they go for an outing and enjoy flowers, they pick flowers and stick them on each other's heads;

in summer, when they go into the river, they sit by the river and beat the running water with their feet;

in autumn, dancing in the wind, they pick up fallen leaves and play with each other;

in winter, they play in the snow, they pick up snowballs and chase each other wantonly.

they whisper pleasantries, eat and walk, hug hand in hand, kiss and go to sleep, and fall in love slowly, making the years long.

there is a good saying:

"the ritual of falling in love is not to fall in love with someone quickly, but to take a long time to get to know him, see his face, and understand his heart."

so, fall in love more slowly, love longer, and really have the ritual of "the sun is the dynasty, the moon is the evening, and the secretary is the day and night" is the happy value of a long life.


the writer Lin Qingxuan once said:

Get every eye on you in our vintage cocktail dresses. They are perfect for any occasion.

when you are young, maybe the relationship you want is to catch up with each other and live a fast and lively life..

but as you get older and get along with each other for a long time, you will find that the mode that really makes people feel comprehensive and comfortable is the slower one.

this reminds me of the story of the hero and heroine in the Last Day on the Island.

on a remote island, the heroine Libby and the hero Charlotte fell in love at first sight.

they had been together on the island for several months, but Charlotte was not in such a hurry to make Libby his partner and made excessive demands on Libby.

Libby, who is used to establishing relationships so fast, once thought that Charlotte didn't want to invite him because he wasn't sexy enough.

A long time later, they were honest with each other. Charlotte admitted that he had a strong desire for Libby, but he was afraid that he would hurt her if he showed his love to Libby like Libby's ex-boyfriend.

in order to take care of Libby's body and mind, he chose to slow down, restrain his inner desires, and love her more fully while getting along.

as Karen Mok sings in the song:

"slowly like you, slowly intimate, slowly chat about yourself, slowly walk with you, slowly recall, slowly accompany you slowly grow old, because slowly is the best reason."

in getting along with each other, two people in one room, three meals and four seasons are put into practice in every little thing, and it will be more comprehensive if you slow down.

Zhang Zhilin and Yuan Yongyi were not favored at first when they fell in love with each other. They fell in love with each other for eight years before they chose to marry hand in hand. By now, they have been in love with each other for nearly 30 years.

in getting along, they can always follow each other's pace, let time slow down, warm wine and tea.

Zhang Zhilin will tolerate his wife's bad temper, buy her a bag if she likes it, and go with her if she wants to see a concert.

after giving birth to her son, Yuan Yongyi suffered from postpartum depression, mental imbalance and temper. She often lost control of herself, quarreled with her husband, and even came to the point of divorce.

seeing that her husband was exhausted for herself, she slowly adjusted herself to slow down and not to speak too hastily.

and Zhang Zhilin calls his wife every time he goes out and gives him enough sense of security.

in this way, you protect me, I take care of your slowly get along, they have had a spring, summer, autumn and winter.

when the years go by and the time is gone, the passion of love turns into the tea and salt of life. Only by getting along hand in hand and being willing to slow down and wait for each other, can we know each other better, love each other more, and take better care of each other.

get along with each other slowly, see sincerity after running-in, and build a city wall called "comprehensive" for each other's relationship, which is purely beautiful and will take a long time to come.