Learn to "see a doctor" for yourself (this article is priceless)
I very much agree with such a paragraph:
"I am used to finding myself in the eyes of others, and I am at a loss;
magnify myself from other people's praise, the result is elated;
distort myself in other people's talk, and I feel dazed."
at present, many people believe in "planting more flowers and fewer thorns" and are afraid or unwilling to find fault with others, so it is often futile to expect outsiders to "see a doctor" for themselves.
to find your own problems, you still need to look inward and learn to "see a doctor" for yourself.
people who learn to "see a doctor" for themselves will have a clear and accurate understanding of themselves without being beautiful or evil.
the growth of life is a process of constantly "seeing a doctor" for yourself, and no one can replace it.
people should be good at discovering their own "faults"
as the old saying goes, "if a man is not a sage, there is no fault."
everyone has their own shortcomings and faults, and what matters is not that, but your attitude towards them.
do you often reflect on yourself, be good at discovering and correcting it, or choose to turn a blind eye and put all the blame on others? Netizen @ Lao Le talked about his friend's son Xiaoxiao.
not long ago, Xiaoxiao attended a high school classmate reunion and came back in low spirits. Because another student who attended the party did investment management in a foreign company, he earned a considerable income and was very popular.
he said that his classmate's father, who has been working in the financial industry, has been nurtured since childhood and will inherit the family business in the future.
then, I began to complain about my life: I had to strive for everything by myself, and I was influenced by my mother because of my low EQ and unpopular speech.
in fact, Xiaoxiao graduated from 985 University with a bachelor's degree in architecture. From primary school to high school, his parents' life revolves around him.
after graduating from college, he found a job in a real estate development company, from nine to five every day, smooth and comfortable. Eight hours later, he played TV series and games, and his daily life was not much different.
he habitually envies others and blames his dissatisfaction on his parents and his native family.
Xiaoxiao's father was very depressed and said to outsiders, "my son still refuses to be responsible for himself."
obviously, Xiaoxiao is a person who is not good at finding his own faults. he attributes his problems to the environment and does not know how to reflect on himself.
someone said: "if everyone can put introspection decades in advance, at least half of them can become great people."
this sentence can fully reflect the significance of reflection for a person's growth, success and success.
French philosopher Montaigne said:
by the same token, a person's greatest sorrow is not that he has something wrong with himself, but that he does not know that there is something wrong with him.
only by being good at self-reflection, finding faults in time, and working hard to change, can one's life be stable and far away.
learn to see your emotional illness
Liang Ning, a famous product, once said:
"emotion is a person's underlying operating system.
what drives a person is his mood, his underlying operating system. "
in the adult world, whatever emotion is life.
if a person cannot see his emotional illness and cannot consciously control his emotions, he will only make himself stumble, suffer, and suffer.
one year, Microsoft had a project worth nearly $100 million in South America that needed to be taken care of.
Bill Gates understands that the newly recruited managers are all capable of doing the task, and he is just thinking about who is more appropriate to hand it to.
at this time, Patrick was the first to come to the office, and he was the most suitable person.
although Bill Gates believed in Patrick's abilities, he asked Patrick curiously, "Why weren't you at all positive at the project meeting last week?"
"Last week, I was in a bad mood and didn't want to do anything.
but this time is different. Everything has been taken care of. I have full confidence. You can rest assured. "
Patrick thinks the project belongs to him, but Bill Gates believes that the project has a bearing on the future of the company, and how can you rest assured that it can be handed over to such an emotionally unstable person.
finally, Bill Gates handed over the project to another manager.
Patrick's ability is no worse than others, but the problem is that he can't control his emotions very well.
there is a term in psychology called "emotional wisdom", which refers to the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions.
those who cannot recognize and control emotions are "emotional imbeciles".
emotion is not the whole of our life, but it can affect our life direction, quality of life and happiness index.
what is the most important thing in a lifetime? It's nothing more than career, family, and health, and a bad mood can easily destroy these important things and destroy the whole life.
as the saying goes, "if you control your emotions, you control your behavior; if you control your actions, you control your life."
stable mood is not only a standard match for an adult, but also a pattern of great things.
you can see that your "illness" is a kind of self-cultivation
I like the saying
"A man needs a window to see the outside world and a mirror to see his heart.
the window sees the light outside, and the mirror sees its own deficiency. "
with the mirror of "introspection", a person can improve his own level, make his mind clear, and continue to achieve a better self.
knowing how to find a reason from yourself is not only a kind of wisdom in dealing with the world, but also a kind of top self-cultivation.
Mr. Fu Peirong, a master of Sinology, is not only knowledgeable, but also an eloquent speaker.
he was invited by CCTV to give a lecture on "the Wisdom of Mencius" in "Baijia Forum", which was recognized by many scholars and audiences.
however, who would have thought that Mr. Fu Peirong had the experience of stuttering and was often regarded as a laughingstock.
but instead of blaming those who laughed at him, he made unremitting efforts to overcome the problem of stuttering and eventually became a respected orator.
talking about the experience of being laughed at, Fu Peirong said:
"if you have shortcomings, others will laugh at you. Instead of worrying about being laughed at by others all day, try to improve yourself."
it is precisely because of the experience that I was not good at expressing that I cherish every opportunity to speak more. "
A truly cultured person never blames others easily. They don't complain about heaven, they don't like people, they reflect on themselves, and constantly correct themselves.
psychologists divide people's values into two categories, one is called "weak values", and the other is called "strong values".
the two values actually reflect two different kinds of self-cultivation.
people who hold "weak values" are used to asking "why":
Why should others live well and look down on me? I was fine. Why am I the one who got sick?
the conditions are similar. Why should someone else be promoted while I stand still?
these people look outward, and there are only complaints, accusations and resentment in their hearts. of course, they cannot feel success and happiness.
people who hold "strong values" will ask "Why" when asked:
Why does this happen? what is the problem? Is
subjective or objective?
if it's subjective, it's because of your poor IQ, EQ and EQ.
these people look inward, often reflect, analyze, adjust, and improve. They will try to overcome difficulties, get out of the haze, and finally embrace happiness and happiness.
being able to see your own "faults" is the beginning of excellence.
people's best "doctor" is always the one who
has read such a short story.
there was a man who was always very distressed. When he heard that the Buddha could wipe out all suffering, he packed his bags and went to the Buddha.
after listening to his story, the Buddha said to him, "you are the only one who can really help free you."
but the man asked inexplicably, "but I am the one who is full of anguish and confusion."
the Buddha smiled and said, "think about it. Who put the anguish and confusion in your heart?"
the man pondered for a long time and did not speak.
the Buddha continued to say, "whoever put it in, let him take it out."
looking at the Buddha with a smile, the distressed people finally understand that their troubles are just their own senseless persistence, and they can only rely on themselves to get rid of them.
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it is better to rely on heaven and earth than to rely on yourself.
there is a good saying: doctors may help us cure diseases, but they cannot help us build up our physique; doctors can guide us out of the shadows, but they can't keep us away from pain.
Yes, no matter physically or mentally, the best doctor will always be yourself, and the one who really understands you will always be yourself.
ordinary people like you and me, no one can reach the realm of saints, and everyone will have problems of one kind or another.
but the wisdom of "I reflect on myself three times a day" said by Zengzi is a compulsory course in life, and it is worth learning and practicing all our lives.