No matter how you fight, you can't fight over the way of Heaven.

/July 2022

the last sentence of the Book of morality says:

the so-called Tao of Heaven is humanitarianism, which teaches us how to deal with ourselves and how to get along with the world.

in life, learning not to argue is the best way to deal with the world.


do not compete with parents

Confucius said: "parents do not follow a few words, see that they do not follow, respect is not disobedient, hard work without complaining."

it is a sign of maturity that one does not discuss the length and win or lose with his parents.

Liang Qichao lived with his father when he was engaged in the reform career.

Liang Qichao's father is old-fashioned and extremely picky about etiquette.

at that time, there were always many guests at home.

the various styles of the reformists often annoy his father, and Liang Qichao tried to convince his father.

but after several conversations, the two sides argued hard and neither could convince the other.

Liang Qichao could not refuse the guests to come to the door, nor did he want to argue with his father and hurt the feelings of his father and son.

so I specially found a separate room for my father.

when there are guests at home, you don't have to disturb your father; if there are no guests at home, you can enjoy the family.

when we are growing up, we will inevitably have differences and disputes with our parents.

they always send you all kinds of health articles, which are obviously sensational false news, but they believe it.

you always remind them that it is best not to eat overnight food, and they think it is a waste.

you tell their children not to get too used to it, but every time you educate your children, they will interfere.

the older we get, the more we feel that our parents stick to the rules and lose patience in communication.

only forget that they always tolerate us when we make mistakes when we are young.

they never despise us for being naive and stupid, but just teach us patiently again and again.

the love between parents and children is like a cycle of humanity.

when we were young, they were accommodating us. When they were old, it was our turn to tolerate them.

when you get along with your parents, if you can't make sense, learn to shut up.

it is said in the Book of Rites: "the cultivation of a filial son does not go against his will."

learning to please parents and understand parents is the greatest filial piety for children.


there is a good saying in "the Simpsons":

A good marriage does not fight for right or wrong, as long as it is happy.

tell a well-known story.

Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang quarreled on the ship because of a French pronunciation.

Yang Jiang feels that Qian Zhongshu's pronunciation is accented and impure, and Qian Zhongshu is not convinced.

the two men found an English-speaking Frenchman to be severed. As a result, Yang Jiang was right and Qian Zhongshu was wrong.

Yang Jiang recalled: "although I won, I felt boring and unhappy."

the more you love, the more you get.

quarrels between partners are inevitable, but it is not necessary to score a right or wrong every time.

compared to right or wrong, the person around you is the most important.

in the process of quarreling, it is easy to get out of control, don't choose words, and say things that hurt each other.

even if you get back together in the future, you can't take it back, and the damage caused by your words cannot be made up.

there is a good saying:

life is hard for adults, but who can accompany you through these hardships?

there is no doubt that your partner is suffering with you, carrying the burden of life together, and struggling to make a living together.

since life is already so hard, why should two people torture each other?

between partners, tolerance is more important than right and wrong, and understanding is more important than criticism.

instead of needle-to-point, it is reasonable and unforgiving.

Home is a place to talk about love, not a place to flatter, let alone reason.

the less you care, the happier the family is.

in a relationship, care less and fight less for right or wrong. Only in this way can you lead a prosperous life.


do not compete with friends

Cai Lan is one of Mr. Jin Yong's best friends, and the two, together with Ni Kuang and Huang Zhan, are known as the "four talents of Hong Kong".

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Cai Lan has a wide range of knowledge and literary talent, but he does not like the name of "Hong Kong's four talents".

the reason is that I feel that I don't deserve it, and only Mr. Jin Yong can deserve it.

he is modest, low-key, does not follow the trend of inflammation, nor does he improperly belittle himself.

according to Cai Lan, Jin Yong is more talented and knowledgeable than himself.

Mr. Jin Yong is also richer than he is. He is never jealous and relaxed.

when old friends get together, Mr. Jin Yong always pays the bill.

friends get together, who has the money to pay the bill, do not compete for high or low, do not feel ashamed, do not feel ashamed.

the friendship between real gentlemen is often valued not by money and status, but by the depth of friendship.

there is a good saying: "your level is the average of the five people you most often come into contact with."

what the people around you look like, you will become what you become.

the people around you are good, and you are no worse off;

the people around you are down, and you are bound to get stuck in the quagmire.

to achieve others is to achieve yourself.

if you don't compete with your friends, your heart will be wide and your friends will be natural.There will be more.


Don't fight stubbornly with God

Zou Taofen said: "there is no omnipotent man in the world."

the rarest thing about being a man is to recognize yourself, act according to your ability, and not compete with heaven and earth.

there was a Zen master who was famous for his spiritual practice on the mountain, and many people came to him for advice.

once, everyone wanted to visit him and found that the Zen master was carrying water and was about to walk up the mountain.

when the crowd saw that the two buckets of the Zen master were not full and only a small part of them, they asked the Zen master questions.

the Zen master smiled and said:

"you see I draw a line in this bucket. Every time I only hold so much, it exceeds my own abilities and needs. This is the bottom line."

it's like we do things as people, we do everything according to our ability, and we do as much as we can. " As the old saying goes, "only when you know what it stops, you can stop at the best."

people should not only know what they want, but also know where their limits are and act according to their abilities.

when you are old, you should admit that your body is not as bad as before, don't try to be brave, you can't hold on;

if you are too full of desire, you should admit your lack of ability and lower your expectations instead of being unrepentant.

in the Book of morality, it is said: "those who do lose, those who hold it lose. Saints do nothing, so they do not lose; if they do not hold on, they do not lose. "

the deeper the obsession, the more painful one is.

Wang Yangming also said: "be at ease with what happens, and do what you want without going beyond the rules."

measure your strength, know its degree, and enough is enough is the best practice in life.


in the Book of morality, it is said: "the husband does not fight, so the world cannot contend with it."

in dealing with the world, non-struggle is the highest realm of struggle.

not fighting with parents for victory or defeat is filial piety; not fighting for right or wrong with your partner is happiness;

not competing with friends is magnanimous; not fighting stubbornly with God is wisdom.

if there is no dispute, there will be less troubles in life, and people will live at ease.