The 15-year-old boy was paralyzed when playing with his cell phone.

two nights ago, a sharp knock on the door startled our house.

when I opened the door, I saw the next-door neighbor with red eyes and anxiously asked if she had seen her child.

"this kid really wants us dead! He quarreled with his father and ran away from home. "

I am impressed by this boy, because I can often see him standing in front of my house.

eight or nine years old, although he was being punished, his face was full of disapproval.

the neighbors cried while talking. After listening for a long time, it turned out that it was all caused by the mobile phone.

the child's grandparents recently lived here to prepare for the Spring Festival. The child grinded the old man to ask for his mobile phone to play with every day, but could not stand the soft and hard bubble of the eldest grandson, so the old man gave the mobile phone to the child.

as a result, in two or three days, the child bought game equipment and skin with his grandfather's mobile phone, which cost more than 2000.

because the card tied to the old man's mobile phone belongs to the child's father, it was discovered all of a sudden. In a fit of anger, my father dropped his cell phone and slapped him. In the evening, the child was gone.

"if he had any luck in such a cold day, I wouldn't be able to live."... "

"A good child, obedient and sensible when he was a child, how come he has come across a mobile phone like this now?"

to be honest, parent-child conflicts caused by mobile phones are not uncommon.

especially every winter and summer vacation, children hold mobile phones and do not let go, and the fact that children are addicted to mobile phones has simply become a big worry for parents.

the Institute of curiosity once conducted a survey: what do you think is the most demagogic drug in the new era?

among the tens of thousands of reader feedback, mobile phone ranks first.

01

want to destroy a child

just give him a cell phone

someone on Zhihu asked: what things should children never touch?

one of the highly praised answers is:

and there are too many things hidden in the phone for short-term pleasure: games, short videos, social networks.

these things can make mentally immature children get excited experience quickly, so it is easy to become addicted and unable to extricate themselves.

Xiaobin, a 15-year-old from Guangxi, his parents gave him a mobile phone to learn to use because he had to take online lessons.

A month later, Xiaobin's mother suddenly received a call from her husband saying that her son had fainted and the doctor diagnosed the child with a stroke.

it turns out that for a month, Xiaobin did not have online classes at all, but played games day and night with his mobile phone, sleeping less than three hours a day.

the doctor told Xiaobin's parents that because of the serious irregularity in diet, work and rest, it caused cerebral ischemia and hypoxia, resulting in stroke and paralysis.

I can't imagine what the future will be like for this young child.

in 2019, a 13-year-old child suddenly went crazy in the classroom, banging his head against the wall and twitching his face.

later, according to the doctor's diagnosis, the main cause was excessive use of mobile phones. It leads to irregular work and rest and confusion in the body's immune system, which leads to immune encephalitis, paralysis and mental decline.

there are more and more complications caused by playing with mobile phones, and they are getting younger and younger, such as deformities of cervical vertebrae, developmental deformities of fingers, decreased motor function and vision.

and these physical injuries are tangible, and there are many invisible injuries that are slowly eroding the child.

A study in the United States tracked more than 40,000 teenagers, and the results showed that

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as the time spent watching the electronic screen increased, the probability of children suffering from anxiety or depression increased. In 2008, an American psychologist launched an experiment:

followed 100 children and divided them into two groups: 50 children who did not touch mobile phones and 50 children who were obsessed with mobile phones. Study the impact of mobile phones on children.

the experiment took 10 years, and in 2018, psychologists released the results:

for children who often play with mobile phones, only two were admitted to college, while almost all of the children who did not touch mobile phones were admitted to college. 16 of them also won full scholarships.

what's more, mobile phones can even be life-threatening.

A 13-year-old boy in Zigong, Sichuan Province, jumped to her death because her mobile phone was confiscated by her parents.

A 15-year-old girl jumped from the 19th floor and died on the spot in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province.

A 14-year-old girl in Huludao, Liaoning Province, spent all her parents' 60,000 yuan on game recharge because she was addicted to mobile games. Finally, she jumped off a building and committed suicide because of excessive pressure.

"if you want to destroy a child, just give him a cell phone" is by no means alarmist.

02

in Juvenile Shuo, a boy named Ye Zijian said to his parents with tears in his eyes:

when I was a child, I thought the mobile phone was the child of my parents. Because, every time I look up, they are bowing their heads and playing with their cell phones, staring.

my parents are afraid of me making trouble, so they throw my mobile phone to me and let me play alone. "

behind this paragraph is the epitome of countless families.

parents are so busy with their work that they can't see their children's needs or hear their real voices, so mobile phones take the place of parents' company for their children.

NetEase CEO Ding Lei once said: "many parents are lazy and throw their mobile phones to their children to free their time."

everyone knows that the laziness you stole when your children were young will eventually become the deepest regret on the way to education.

in the variety show "teacher please answer", 15-year-old Hao Hao is addicted to games and stubbornly wants to stop school.For contestant e-sports.

so, in order to hone his skills, Hao Hao wakes up to play games every day, sleeps when he is tired, wakes up and goes on, playing at least 16 hours a day.

day after day, games take away his youthful vitality.

parents can only cut off the Internet and confiscate their mobile phones, but this leads to even crazier actions, smashing all the computers and televisions at home.

it was not until the program group communicated deeply with Haohao that they understood the real reasons behind these extreme behaviors.

his parents have a very bad relationship, and the atmosphere at home is always cold and there is no temperature to speak of.

not only that, my father is grumpy and seldom communicates with Haohao, and his mouth is full of preaching and scolding.

there is a psychological concept called "childhood emotional neglect", which says that parents' failure to give their children enough emotional response will cause psychological trauma.

this kind of trauma will make the child feel like a black hole that cannot be filled. It always feels like something is missing, if it cannot be filled in the real world.

they can only turn around and look for it in their mobile phones to make up for the lack of real relationships and get a sense of value, belonging and satisfaction in those junk pleasures.

Professor Li Meijin once said:

when children are addicted to mobile phones, then we parents must reflect.

because parents are the wall between their children and their mobile phones.

03

only when the parents are in place can the mobile phone abdicate

my friend, who is a primary school teacher, talked about a very special little boy in her class.

since childhood, the little boy has no access to the Internet and mobile phones, and there is no computer at home. In order to prevent their children from surfing the Internet, their parents also use old-fashioned mobile phones.

when the children go to primary school, when they see that all the students in the class play mobile phone surfing the Internet, they feel out of place and isolated. After all kinds of troubles, they become addicted to mobile games and eventually drop out of school.

simple and brutal prohibition and suppression will only lead to greater outbreaks. Psychologically, this reaction is called the "forbidden fruit effect".

what's more, this generation of children are already Internet aborigines, so instead of blocking them, it's better to use smarter ways to dredge them.

1.

while boycotting children to play with their mobile phones, they also regard playing with their mobile phones as a reward for their good performance.

this kind of obvious double-label behavior, naturally can not convince the child.

as the old saying goes, "one example of action is worth a thousand words".

the same is true of educating children. Teaching by example is more persuasive than words.

in the final analysis, don't focus all your efforts on your children. Good parents must examine themselves first.

when we put down the phone, the child can slowly put the phone down.

2. Enrich the real world of children

Professor Li Meijin told a story in which a father found that his son was addicted to mobile games. Instead of losing his temper, he took his son to play table tennis with him.

Father and son often compete with each other. In order to beat his father, the son spends all his spare time practicing and gradually becomes less interested in mobile games.

when children get a sense of fun and achievement from the real world, they are naturally less dependent on happiness in the virtual world.

during the holidays, parents can take more time to take their children out of the house and do some outdoor activities: outing, walking, exercise. This can not only exercise the child's body, but also prevent the child from playing with his mobile phone because of boredom.

Children are born to play, but too often, small mobile phones take over the games and games that children are supposed to have.

when parents arrange their spare time colorful and their children are happy in the real world, how can they indulge in cold things?

3. Avoid being addicted to mobile phones, and make good rules

We often say, "No rules, no square".

instead of waiting for the child to become addicted and then forbid it by violent means, it is better to make an agreement with the child as soon as possible.

specify the time and content of playful mobile phones, and if you break the rules, there must be punitive measures. Before, I have seen a mother's practice that is worth learning from.

she stipulates that children practice their words for every hour they play with their mobile phones.

the child agreed to play with his mobile phone for a while, but after a long time, he found it a bit unbearable.

No matter how much he tried to practice calligraphy lazily, the mother disagreed. Over time, children also consciously reduce the time they spend playing with their mobile phones.

the purpose of the three chapters is to return the right of choice and the right to know about the consequences to the children, so that they know that they have to bear the price if they break the rules.

compared to simply ordering children, this method is based on love, trust and respect for them.

anyone, including children, will consciously obey the rules when they feel respected as independent individuals.

04

there is a saying on the Internet:

"every era needs a scapegoat, something that can cover up the failure of family education, school education, and social education."

it was a martial arts novel 40 years ago, a movie 35 years ago, an idol 30 years ago, puppy love 15 years ago, and now it's called a mobile phone. "

Mobile phones are not scourges, and it is not realistic to completely ban children from using mobile phones in this society.

all parents can do is to show their children the truth with love and company.The beauty and splendor of the world.

when children get enough love and companionship, their hearts are rich enough that the child will naturally look away from the small screen.

the road to parenting is always full of hardships.

and we, only with our heart, can raise sunny children!