There is a kind of high EQ, which is called not causing people to get stuck.
recently, actor Guo Qilin mentioned a social phenomenon in a variety show, which sparked a heated discussion on the whole website:
then Guo Qilin talked about his philosophy: "I don't bother you, please don't bother me."
after watching this clip, many people say that they feel the same way.
indeed. In the adult world, whether it is a word or a thing, if it is out of line, it will often add to others and make the distance between them farther and farther away.
what is the measure of dealing with the world?
I remember that Liang Xiaosheng, a famous writer, said:
between people, it should be like this: keep good self-cultivation, maintain self-consciousness, restrain yourself, and think of others.
A high-level life starts with "not causing traffic to others".
speak less, be more gentle
Weibo big V "anti-underpants position" said one thing:
"early in the morning to buy vegetables, pass by the fruit stall, say to buy a jin of jujube."
there was a male customer standing next to him. He just didn't know him and said, "is that all you can buy?" Can't afford to eat? You are living a shabby life. "
one sentence ruins other people's good mood early in the morning. People who like to argue can always make the atmosphere extremely cold in an instant.
think about it, there are a lot of people around you.
whatever you say, he will refute you, no matter what you do, it is wrong in his eyes.
when you feel something good in your life, he will jump out and tell you, "what's the use?"
when you say that a picture looks good, he can't wait to retort: "I'm not the only one who feels ugly, am I?"
when you feel sorry for the death of a celebrity, he will immediately express his opinion: "think more about your parents when you have the time."
as there is a joke on the Internet:
"you say that animal cruelists have gone too far. He said: you only think about the life and death of animals. Why don't you pay attention to the children in Syria?"
seems to be a trivial matter of momentary rapport, but it is actually the beginning of ruining a relationship.
in recent days, the college entrance examination results have come out. Seeing the results of their children's efforts, some parents are happy to share their children's achievements with their relatives and friends.
however, some people met with cynicism: "this score does not apply to a good university, and it does not make sense to go to it."
the mood of the originally happy family suddenly hit rock bottom.
there is an old saying: never disturb other people's happiness.
people live in the world, so long as they emit their own light, don't blow out other people's lights.
you live your life, just keep your own garden, and don't pick the only flower that others have.
hurting people is very simple, every sentence has a thorn, and every thorn is in the heart of others.
it is not difficult to deal with the world, treat others gently, every bit of warmth can leave sunshine.
Don't blame anything in case of trouble.
writer Sanmao once wrote in his book:
No one can afford to analyze, and it is not easy to try to understand.
but in many cases, people are used to analyzing a thing and blaming a person with the usual thinking.
Turgenev tells a heart-wrenching story in Cabbage Soup:
A peasant widow died her only son. The 20-year-old was the best worker in the village.
the day the young man was buried, the landlord's wife went to visit the mother.
the mother stood in the middle of the hut, at a table, unhurriedly scooping up thin cabbage soup from the bottom of a dark pot and swallowing it with a spoon.
her left hand hung weakly around her waist, her cheeks were thin and her eyes were red and swollen, but her body was as straight as if she were in church. Mrs.
saw the scene and said, "Oh, my God, she can still eat at a time like this. People like them are so hard-hearted."
my wife recalled that when she lost her daughter a few years ago, she was so grieved that she refused to live in a villa in the suburbs and would rather spend the summer in the city. However, this woman is still eating cabbage soup.
so he couldn't help asking, "you surprise me. Don't you like your son? why do you still have such an appetite for soup?"
"my Vassia is dead. Of course, my days are over, and I cut my heart out alive. " As the woman spoke, tears ran down her haggard cheeks.
"however, soup should not be wasted. There is salt in it." Mrs.
heard this and shrugged her shoulders and left. In her opinion, salt was a worthless thing.
whenever I see this story, it always feels like a pain in my throat.
there is no real empathy in the world, nor exactly the same situation.
No one can predict how much frost a casual rebuke will add to someone else's original snow.
Don't criticize casually, but a little more understanding is the greatest kindness to a person.
as Tolstoy said:
Don't make false judgments in the world, but show a little more respect
not long ago, an interview video of a Peking University teacher went viral.
in the video, a young man in plain clothes is shown holding a large bottle of water and two steamed buns in his hand.
when the reporter interviewed him, he briefly introduced his identity:
undergraduate student of Grade 2010 and graduate student of Grade 2014 in the Mathematics Department of Peking University. Because of his love of mathematics, he took part in a number of math competitions and was sent to Peking University. Now he has become a teacher in Peking University. At the end of the
video, he sent it to the college entrance examination candidates.Blessing: "come on, welcome to Peking University, I won't say anything else."
when I saw this interview, I thought that most of the comments were for the appreciation of the teacher. after all, such achievements had already exceeded that of ordinary people.
unexpectedly, the comment area is full of sarcasm.
"you don't look very smart."
"I know why I can't go to Peking University. I'm too fucking handsome and articulate, which is a stumbling block to my study."
"in that case, I'd rather my child doesn't go to Peking University."
someone even said, "if you look at his appearance, you can tell that he must be very rigid in class." Behind every word and sentence of
there is contempt for "judging people by their appearance".
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but what they don't know is that the teacher's name is Wei Dongyi, who is called "Wei Shen" in the field of mathematics.
when Wei Dongyi was a teaching assistant, the teacher introduced Wei Dongyi to other students:
from these little things, we can see that the title of "Wei God" is worthy of the name.
after the Internet became popular, spectators commented on his appearance, and some people wanted to continue to interview him, but they were politely declined because they disturbed his life.
Nietzsche is right:
"Don't judge others, judge others easily, and don't gossip behind them." Thinking less about what other people do is what good people do. "
what should a truly educated person look like?
I have seen a summary that is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people:
Don't talk about height in front of short people, don't talk about figure in front of fat people, don't talk about skin color in front of dark-skinned people, and don't talk about family in front of divorced parents.
do not judge, do not cling to the shortcomings of others, learn to respect others, but also respect yourself.
I like Audrey Hepburn's words
very much: "if you have beautiful lips, say kind words; if you have lovely eyes, you should see the strengths of others; if you have a slim figure, give food to the hungry; if you have elegant posture, remember that you are not the only pedestrian."
not to add traffic to others is the most basic upbringing, the best kindness and the highest EQ.
to be a generous person, you should not only be considerate to yourself and others, but also considerate for the sake of others.
do not ask questions about other people's private affairs, do not evaluate other people's lives, and do not expose other people's disguises.