What is the gap between self-disciplined and undisciplined children ten years later?

/August 2022


recently, a 16-year-old ballet girl, Kayla, has gone viral.

since the age of 5, she has participated in various competitions one after another.

along the way, Kayla has won the title of NYCDA "National Mini Female Outstanding Dancer" and "American Dance" as "Young dancer of the year".

in addition, her academic performance is also very good, even the most difficult AP psychology, also got a high score of 92.

as a senior high school student, Kayla not only has to cope with the heavy pressure of schoolwork, but also has to prepare for the touring invitation performance of the World Dance Championships.

usually, her day starts like this:

get up at 06:30. To avoid oversleeping, she usually sets four alarm clocks until she gets up.

after breakfast, she will rush to catch the 07:15 school bus and start her morning study.

during recess, she smears tiger oil to relax her muscles, or practices split stretching in the school corridor.

02:30 in the afternoon, after a quick lunch, Kayla boarded the train to the dance studio for training.

on the train, she will make full use of this hour's journey and take out her textbooks to study.

after 03:30 in the afternoon, she will continue six hours of dance training.

when night fell, she sat on the train home and continued to review her lessons.

at 12:30 in the evening, Kayla, who had finished handing in his homework, finally finished the day where every minute counts and was ready to go to bed.

Kayla this schedule, it is not difficult to stick to it for one day, but it is difficult to do it every day.

not to mention children of the same age, that is, many adults, are ashamed of themselves.

No wonder some netizens said, "she may have completed more projects in one day than we have to do in the past six months."

behind all the splendor of Kayla, there is a ten-year high degree of self-discipline.

as one of the Twenty instructions of the Harvard Library says:

self-discipline is a child's most advanced soft power, and it is also the best "shortcut" for ordinary children to counterattack.


what is the gap between self-disciplined and irregular children


not long ago, Zhang Tianzhu, a freshman of the class of 2020 at the University of National Defense Science and Technology, became popular.

who would have thought that this handsome and upright boy on the training ground used to be a fat guy weighing as high as 305 jin.

in 2017, Zhang Tianzhu watched Zhu Rihe's military parade with his family, and he was instantly attracted by the imposing and neat soldiers.

Zhang Tianzhu secretly vowed that he must be admitted to the best military academy in China and do his part for national defense.

he did well in his culture class, and the only obstacle was being overweight.

in order to realize his military dream, he made up his mind to lose weight.

in addition to strictly controlling his diet, he gets up early in the morning to run, skips rope at noon and goes to the gym in the evening to complete professional training.

apart from exercising, he did not relax his study of cultural classes.

for more than 500 days and nights, Zhang Tianzhu studied except for exercise.

finally, he successfully lost 128 jin and was admitted to the dream school with an excellent score of 651 points.

he was able to counterattack successfully because of his perseverance and persistence, as he himself said:

also have perseverance, anything can be done with perseverance. "

Welcome to your child's brain, it is mentioned that whether a person can succeed, the influence of self-discipline is twice as much as intelligence.

Liebel, who was admitted to Zhejiang University twice with excellent grades, was dropped out twice.

after entering college for the first time, Liebel became addicted to games.

he is often absent from school for no reason and spends 12 hours playing games every day.

cleverness and high IQ did not smooth his life. On the contrary, unrestrained indulgence led to his being expelled from school.

after entering the society, Liebel can only do some manual work because of his low educational background.

unreconciled, he decided to take the college entrance examination again with the support of his family. A year later, he was admitted to Zhejiang University again.

but when he walked into the campus of Zhejiang University for the second time, he still failed to resist the temptation of the game, and was ordered to drop out of school again.

with his learning ability and excellent grades, he could have a very bright future.

but because of his lack of self-discipline, he wasted the good time of his life and missed a lot of opportunities to counterattack.

someone asked on Zhihu: what will a life without self-discipline end up like?

A netizen put it bluntly and deeply:

you will only be forced to live, instead of meeting the challenges of life in a good state every day. "

Children with self-discipline will have freedom of choice in the future.

when children develop the habit of self-discipline, they gain not only a good grade, but also a lifelong ability, an ability to determine the ceiling of their lives.


every self-disciplined child

stands ruthless parents

some time ago, a video of a 3-year-old girl crying over her waist went viral on the Internet.

although the little girl in the video burst into tears, the beat on her hand did not stop, and each beat was an accurate response.

many people call her China.Ai Fukuhara.

the father of the child said in an interview that playing table tennis is her daughter's interest, but such a young child sometimes feels too hard to lose his temper and refuses to stick to it.

crying in the video, I broke down because I wanted to be lazy and was rejected by myself.

but as a parent, he believes that children must be encouraged to persevere. It cannot be said that children do not want to practice.

there are few children who are born with self-discipline, and the starting point of self-discipline is often "heteronomy", that is, the role of parents.

Yi Qianxi's mother signed him up for more than a dozen interest classes when he was 2 years old.

No matter whether it is windy or rainy, mother and son are always in the classroom.

in fact, which child is not afraid of being tired and doesn't want to play.

Qianxi also admitted that before the age of 5, he was very resistant to the large and small courses arranged by his mother.

once Qianxi lost his temper and said he would not go to class.

as a result, his mother shut him out until he agreed to go to class.

this way of education is indeed too strict, but this ruthlessness hides a mother's wisest love:

Let the child turn self-discipline into a habit, a way of life, and stick to it all the way in the future.

under his mother's seemingly ruthless and heartless education, Yi Qianxi became a highly self-disciplined teenager.

when practicing dancing, in order to correct an action, he will practice that action hundreds of times until it is exactly the same.

in his spare time, he copied more beautiful calligraphy works according to the calligraphy, and finally practiced good calligraphy.

now he can not achieve what he is today without the "coercion" of his mother's childhood, and he always remembers his mother's saying, "if you work harder now, you will be very happy later."

in fact, most of the time, children need their parents to give a push.

because children always feel that it is better to sleep in at school than to sleep in, and to do problems is not as easy as playing games. If there is no external force, children are likely to sink.

therefore, parents must help their children develop the habit of self-discipline.

one day, all the hardships forced by their parents will come out with a smile.


only self-disciplined parents can raise self-disciplined children

there is a saying in "the Road that few people take":

We strengthen our own growth so that we can become a source of strength for others. "

this means that parents must lead by example in order to teach a self-disciplined child.

some time ago, Huang Lei's daughter Huang Duoduo went on a hot search because of a group of fitness photos.

from the action map, you can see that many movements, such as firm eyes, tight figure, rolling belly, flat brace, and so on, are very easy to practice.

her flowing movements and healthy and beautiful lines make many netizens feel ashamed.

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everyone is admiring a lot of self-discipline, but few people see her mother Sun Li standing behind her.

Sun Li, 43, never slack off in fitness, dancing, photography and piano lessons except shooting plays.

she exercises almost every day, and no matter how delicious the food is, she will control herself from eating too much.

every time she works out, she pulls her daughter together.

under the imperceptible influence of her mother, Duoduo slowly developed the habit of self-discipline.

there is a saying that first-rate parents are role models, second-rate parents are coaches, and third-rate parents are nannies.

Sun Li used the power of her own example to teach children how to cultivate a good habit, how to stick to it, and how to overcome difficulties.

Rudolph Steiner wrote in the Kingdom of Childhood that the child is actually an observer.

they grow up by observing and imitating their parents' behavior. If parents have the habit of self-discipline, children naturally think that this is the right way of life.

just like Kayla, her mother is also a dancer. From an early age, she watched how her mother practiced and repeated hundreds of times for one action.

these images are deeply engraved in her mind and make her believe that she must go through these pains if she wants to be a good dancer like her mother.

the so-called three minutes on the stage and ten years of work off the stage, Kayla needs to dance for six hours every day while completing the third year of high school, during which he has to endure the pain caused by a long time of dance practice.

No matter how hard it is to be a dancer, Kayla never gives up the idea, because her mother is her role model.

No one can succeed casually. Behind success, it takes countless sweat, tears, and persistence.

just like Kayla, what we see is the sparkling girl on the stage, but behind the dazzling light is the life of self-discipline to the extreme.

self-discipline must be hard, but life will eventually repay that persistence in another way.

Gorky once said:

cultivating children's self-discipline is the best education for children.