When you reach middle age, please put away your softness.

/August 2022

there is a saying in the movie the Godfather:

"softness without boundaries will only make the other person gain an inch; kindness without principles will only let the other party do as he pleases."

in this life, you should be kind, but don't be too soft.

otherwise, you will indulge others and hurt yourself.

especially in middle age, people no longer have as much time and energy as they did when they were young, and they should learn to devote their limited feelings to people who are worthy of it.

Please put away your softness when you reach middle age.


not everyone deserves to be soft.

the voice you always hear in life

"Thank the people who tripped you, because they made you brilliant; thank the people who hurt you, because they taught you to be strong."

everyone knows that those who trip you will only feel good behind your back, and those who hurt you will never feel your desolation.

it's true that not everyone in the world deserves to be softened.

netizen @ Heidi once shared a tragedy caused by unlimited softness.

Heidi originally had an enviable job with a high salary in a famous company, and he was still a middle-level leader with a bright future.

the department she is in charge of docking with live sales is the core department of the company. if a mistake occurs, both the supplier and the company will suffer huge losses.

once, an employee of the Heidi department inadvertently lowered the price of a piece of clothing, resulting in a supplier losing tens of thousands of yuan.

afterwards, the department director investigated the blame, and the employee found her and pleaded with tears.

the employee told her that her family conditions were very difficult, her parents-in-law were sick, the children went to school, and her husband could only get a basic salary because of the epidemic, and the whole family made money on their own.

on hearing this, Heidi felt pity and promised to help the staff take things over.

she told the director that the broadcast accident was caused by her poor management, which had nothing to do with the employee.

Heidi originally thought that the company would compensate for losses and withhold bonuses in accordance with the previous system, but she was also prepared not to take quarterly bonuses.

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ever thought that the supplier complained to the boss about this matter, requiring the company to severely punish the key personnel who caused the live broadcast accident.

in order to protect the company's reputation, the boss had to issue a dismissal order.

at this time, Heidi went to the employee and asked her to help explain and intercede with the company for understanding.

as a result, instead of feeling guilty, the employee beat him up and killed Heidi because of the broadcast accident.

in the end, she was fired from the company because there was no conclusive evidence and Heidi had put all the blame on her.

the employee stayed in the company with peace of mind and continued to work.

Jin Yong wrote:

Jin Yong wrote in the Book and Sword,

if kindness is given to the wrong person, it can only be deceived; if a soft heart is given to the wrong person, it will only hurt itself.

not everyone is grateful when they are alive.

when you reach middle age, don't be soft on others easily.


to be soft on people who are not worth it is to hurt yourself

writer Zhou Guoping told a "scoundrel" story in his book when you learn to be alone.

once, a scoundrel borrowed money from a friend.

A few days later, when his friend urged him to pay back the money, he blushed and shouted, "Why do you care so much that you have come to extort debts after only a few days?"

A friend smiled awkwardly and felt that as a friend, he should really think about each other, so he pressed not to mention it.

three years later, when a friend urged him to return it, the scoundrel shouted angrily, "how long have you been worrying like this?"

in the end, the scoundrel not only failed to pay back the money, but also told everyone that his friend was stingy, inconsiderate and unfriendly.

as he talked, he became angrier and angrier, and finally announced to everyone around him that he was going to break up with the man who was "unworthy" to be his friend.

in this way, a friend was well-intentioned to lend money to a scoundrel, but as a result, the scoundrel defaulted again and again, leaving a bad reputation for being "stingy and calculating".

A kind heart, because it is soft, hurts itself in the end.

Dong Qing said:

"if you are so good that you have no reservations, the other person will dare to be unscrupulous."

not everyone deserves your attention in a lifetime.

some people often take advantage of your softness to hurt you indefinitely.

when they are free, they ask you to pick up a courier "by the way". If you refuse, you will be satirized and unfriendly.

they ask you to buy something "by the way", but you complain about it when you buy it back.

kindness should be divided into different people, and don't be the same to everyone, otherwise it is tantamount to encouraging others to do evil.

once upon a time, a farmer sat by the water and found a scorpion fell into the water.

he reached out to salvage the scorpion without hesitation, only to be stung by the scorpion.