Make people feel comfortable, is a person's top self-cultivation

Zeng Guofan once said:

words spoken by people are like a nail hammered into the wall. Although the nail can be removed, the trace cannot be removed.

as the old saying goes:

only by keeping your mouth shut, not saying bad things about people behind their backs, damaging people's image, and not poking people's weaknesses in front of people, can you make people feel comfortable in getting along with each other.

to make others comfortable is to accumulate blessings and popularity for yourself.

01

do not talk about people's shortcomings behind their backs

the ancients said:

the so-called right and wrong is people who like to sow discord and speak ill of others behind their backs.

A person who speaks ill of others behind his back will bring disaster and disgust to himself.

although Shen Kuo was a famous scientist in the Northern Song Dynasty, no one was willing to build a monument for him after his death.

just because he is a villain who gossips behind his back and sows discord.

when Wang Anshi was prime minister, Shen Kuo was a loyal supporter of his reform.

but after the failure of the reform, Shen Kuo hurriedly wrote a ten thousand-word book criticizing Wang Anshi's reform so absurdly that he turned to join the camp of the new prime minister Wu Chong.

the angry Wang Anshi never called Shen Kuo by his first name, but called him "Renren". The so-called Renren is a treacherous man at the helm of the wind, commonly known as a villain.

the "Wutai Poetry case", which involved more than 30 relatives and friends of Su Shi and almost killed Su Shi, was also caused by him gossiping.

when Su Shi arrived in Hangzhou, Shen Kuo visited him.

Shen Kuo pretended to catch up with Su Shi, but in fact he copied all Su Shi's new works.

after returning to Beijing, Shen Kuo used far-fetched "notes" to gossip and falsely accuse Su Shi of satirizing the emperor.

soon after that, Su Shi was jailed for this.

No matter how high Shen Kuo's achievements in science are, he will not be able to restore his two-faced image.

as the old saying goes:

every time we say hurtful words, we are making karma for ourselves.

every hurtful word is like a thumbtack on the wall. Even if the thumbtack is removed afterwards, the hole in the wall will not disappear.

gossiping will only hurt people and destroy their own pattern and fengshui.

A cultured person speaks appropriately and never speaks ill of others behind his back.

02

do not boast in front of others

Xunzi said:

this sentence means that no matter how low the voice is, it will be heard, and no matter how hidden the behavior will show.

it is a person's instinct to speak, but what he says can reflect the person's self-cultivation.

all those who get along with Cai Kangyong admire his ability to speak.

but Cai Kangyong said:

think about it.

when we take care of each other, we can take care of each other's face by talking.

I have seen such a story.

A black taxi driver picked up a pair of white mother and son, and the child asked the mother

the mother smiled and replied:

when we arrived at the destination, the black driver was determined not to charge.

he said:

"when I was a child, I asked my mother the same question, but my mother said that we were black and destined to be inferior.

if she replaced your answer, I might be another me today.

in psychology, there is a word called the Rosenthal effect.

it means that giving positive encouragement is the greatest help to a person's growth.

if the black driver's mother can give him some positive encouragement, the black driver may have another life.

Mr. Lin Yutang said in "nothing more than this in Life":

an encouraging word can warm the heart and fill the heart with strength;

and a sarcastic and striking word can easily destroy a person.

A cultured person will never talk nonsense, let alone get a sense of satisfaction by belittling others.

A person who can talk is not only because of his high EQ, but also because he cares about others.

03

the heart is kind and the mouth is full of lotus flowers

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Huang Zhizhong said:

when people communicate with others, they are most afraid of choking. When you say a word, the more you say it, the more urgent it is, and the more it hurts.

Audrey Hepburn once said:

in life, we can only get along with each other by showing mercy and saying more warm words.

on the stage of the Poetry Conference, a peasant uncle who had only studied for four years but loved ancient poetry took part in the competition.

Uncle stepped onto the big stage for the first time and looked very nervous.

host Dong Qing said to him:

"Don't worry, even if you get the wrong answer, it's the most beautiful mistake in this scene.

because that poem, like a little green in the desert, has always brought him some hope, some longing, watering it with limited water, slowly breaking the soil and growing again until today. "

Dong Qing's words not only eliminated the uncle's tension, but also added a sense of confidence to the uncle's heart.

being considerate of others is the upbringing and kindness engraved in the bones.

there is a saying in

Daojing says:

mercy can not only make us comfortable with others in life, but also accumulate a blessing for ourselves.

learn to accumulate virtue under the mouth, understandIf you have to have mercy in your mouth, if you have a kind heart and spit lotus flowers in your mouth, you will naturally accumulate more and more blessings.

people who are really cultured reveal kindness in their words, and their words can warm the heart and make people feel at ease.

Cai Kangyong once said:

"the more you can talk, the happier others will be, and the happier others will be, the more they will like you; the more others like you, the more help you will get, and the happier you will be."

in many cases, a word changes a person's feng shui.

I hope that in the future, we can all watch our mouths, say more kind words, and warm each other's hearts.

can always keep other people's feelings in mind and be a well-intentioned and respectful person.