People's Daily named and praised, and the 7-year-old applauded the boy on fire
A few days ago, I heard a friend complain about his son.
she said that she was puzzled. It was clear that both husband and wife were graduate students from 985 schools, but her son's grades never went to school.
she rambled on for ten minutes.
until she let off steam, I asked how many places the child had scored in the exam.
as a result, my friend said angrily that of the 40 children in the class, my son was only 15, and his father and I were both in the top three.
I was speechless for a moment. I didn't know whether to say that my friend was too demanding or to sympathize with her child.
there are always many parents around me who think their children are not good enough.
when the child takes the tenth, the parents stare at the top three; when the child gets into the top three, the parents rush to the first place.
as a result, children and parents have become foot-winding robots, moving forward non-stop.
Bai Yansong surprised many people by saying: I don't allow children to take the first place in the exam.
before the children's high school entrance examination, he even said, "if you are admitted to the best high school in Beijing, I will be anxious with you. If you win the first place in the exam, I will sever the father-son relationship with you!"
in his view, each of us is just a race against ourselves, in that long road of life, the pursuit of the better is stronger than the pursuit of the best.
in fact, are the kids who always win the first place really good?
I don't think so.
A video recently circulated on the Internet was liked by People's Daily.
A teacher is handing out awards to children in a classroom in Xichang, Sichuan Province.
when the teacher reads, "it's always great."... " A little boy thought he was the one who won the prize and stood up early from his seat.
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unexpectedly, the teacher called another classmate's name.
the smile on the little boy's face disappeared instantly, but he immediately adjusted his expression and applauded the winner hard.
who knows the next thing the teacher calls out is his name.
after confirming that he was himself, the little boy jumped up from his seat, gave his friend an excited high-five, and wiped away tears after walking onto the podium.
this "big ups and downs", many netizens can not help laughing.
and he still clapped for others when he was down, and won countless likes.
some people say that people can best tell the level of character when they are down.
A child who is willing to applaud the success of others, his heart is broad, his horizons are broad;
while a child whose grades are not satisfactory, he is still willing to applaud others, his future is destined to be extraordinary.
Lu Xun once said that every time I watch a sports meeting, I often think like this:
the winner is honorable, but the competitor who lags behind but still does not run to the finish line, and the spectator who does not smile at the sight of such a competitor is the backbone of China's future.
not proud of victory, not discouraged by defeat, and not judging heroes on the basis of temporary gains and losses, this is the pattern of people who have become a major event, which is more meaningful than taking the first place in the examination 10 times at present.
Zhou Guoping once said:
kindness means compassion; richness means not judging others by a single standard; nobility means abiding by principles and worthy of the heart.
when a child has the above conditions, his life does not need to be defined by scores.
writer Liu Jirong told the story of his daughter.
growing up, no matter in terms of achievement or talent, the daughter is very ordinary, and the husband and wife always envy those outstanding children in the TV program.
once there was a gathering of relatives and friends, after having enough to drink and eat, the conversation naturally turned to the children.
adults ask the children to tell them in turn what they want to be when they grow up.
some people say they want to be a pianist, others say they want to be a star, and even a four-year-old girl says mildly that she wants to be a host of CCTV.
it's her turn for her 12-year-old daughter. She said earnestly that her first wish was to "be a kindergarten teacher", taking the children to sing, dance and play games.
when pressed by the public, she generously said her second wish:
for a moment, her relatives and friends were stunned, and the couple were slightly embarrassed by this "common ideal."
in school, my daughter's grades are always at the middle level.
the transition occurs after a mid-term exam.
that day, she received a call from her daughter's head teacher.
the head teacher mentioned a strange thing, saying that he had never encountered anything like this after thirty years of teaching.
there is an additional question on the Chinese test paper, which asks the students to write down the students they admire most in the class, and write down the reasons.
as a result, all the students except her daughter wrote her name.
the head teacher sighed: "your daughter, although her grades are mediocre, she is really popular."
she told her daughter about it and jokingly said, "you're going to be a hero."
unexpectedly, my daughter said seriously that the teacher said a maxim:
when a hero passes by, someone must applaud on the side of the road.
at that moment, she was deeply moved by her daughter. She never thought that her daughter, who had always been branded as "not good enough", had such a broad mind.
as parents, we always pin too many expectations on our children, eager for them to be the first in the exam, and to be outstanding, but forget that not every child has the gift to be the first.
if children identify with and yearn for it from the bottom of their heart, then as parents, why don't we accept their mediocrity.
if notIf you can be outstanding, at least you can be kind; if you can't be at the top, at least you can accept everything peacefully.
it is a rare perfection to let children be healthy and happy ordinary people.
Stanford University, a world-famous university, has a term called "Stanford duck disease".
what I mean is that on the surface, the duck is swimming leisurely on the lake, but in fact, below the surface, the duck's paw is plucking crazily.
by a single measure, many children have already become such "crazy ducks" who look calm, but are actually eroded by negative emotions and unknown gloom.
how many parents only watch "the Lake" but ignore the true appearance of the dark place.
I remember that high achiever and Wu Xieyu of Peking University walked into the dock 1994 days after killing his mother.
he, who killed his own mother with his own hands, was calm and eloquent, quoting the classics at the scene of the trial without any remorse or pain.
he blamed his father's early death for the cause of no return, and attributed the motive for killing his mother to "I killed her to set her free."
before the identity of the murderer was exposed, he was also the favorite son in the eyes of everyone, and he was a "learning god" who was admitted in advance by Peking University and was always ahead of others.
but on the dark side of the unknown, he was world-weary, lonely, attempted suicide and became a hollow man.
because of his excellent grades, he was exalted to the altar; it was also because he only cared about grades and himself, and he fell into the abyss of crime.
by contrast, another high school student is much luckier.
there was a program in which a boy with excellent grades complained bitterly:
Why my mother was not happy but very worried about why I was first in the grade.
what's wrong with pursuing progress?
the answer given by his mother surprised many people and sighed with emotion.
she said that her son was almost always in the first place since childhood, and her family felt very proud.
until one day, she saw the child writing on the desk, "the second place in the exam is to fall behind." she suddenly became aware that the child attached too much importance to ranking and gains and losses.
she doesn't want her child to be an achievement-oriented utilitarian, so she works with her family to "slow her down".
to make children understand that scores are not everything.
Life is never a city, a pool of gains and losses, only strive for the first for a while, and eventually lose to time.
only with mental magnanimity and kindness can we go longer and see farther.
in this era, everyone wants to "hope for success", but few people tell children how to deal with themselves if they are not good enough.
Professor Yi Zhongtian said:
"my slogan is, look forward to adulthood. Who is it? Real people.
is there a standard? Yes, eight words, the first true, the second kind, the third healthy, the fourth happy. "
the ultimate goal of our education is to cultivate what kind of children?
truthfulness, kindness, health and happiness are enough.
parents who are eager for quick success and full of anxiety are unable to cultivate successful children.
but a person with a paranoid and twisted state of mind will not be happy with anything.
if the child is really talented, we should naturally urge him to work hard not to be lazy;
but if the child's ability is mediocre, the parents should face it calmly and accept the child as a "kind and ordinary person".
A child's achievement has never been the only measure of success.
Society is the ultimate yardstick for testing a person and a pair of parents.
the ultimate goal of education is not for everyone to become talents, but for all adults.
I remember that writer Liu Yu once wrote when her daughter was 100 days old:
"May you have good luck, and if not, may you learn compassion in misfortune."
May you be loved by many people, and if not, may you learn to be tolerant in loneliness. "
rather than raising an excellent child, education should consider how to make a child a happy ordinary person.
they can live in ordinary days;
they can walk calmly through the storms of life;
they can not only appreciate themselves, but also cheer for others from the bottom of their hearts.
in this way, on the day when life comes to an end, children can still face their lives with a clear conscience, even if they do not become elites and do not realize their lofty ideals.