The biggest scam of education is to release a child's nature.
A few days ago, I saw such a story on Zhihu:
the blogger's friend was a bear when he was a child. He was always noisy when he was on the train, turning a blind eye to his mother's education.
until once, the mother chose to take the child directly out of the car and said to her child, "I respect your desire to speak, but I also respect the right of other people on the bus not to be disturbed."
now, you can say whatever you want, and it won't disturb others. When you finish talking, we'll buy tickets and go. "
on that day, they stayed at the station for seven hours until he promised his mother that he would never make any more noise and would not disturb others, so he bought a new ticket and left there.
since then, my friend has changed his noisy behavior in public and gradually grew into a sunny, cheerful and self-disciplined person.
in recent years, there has always been a lot of talk about "releasing the nature of children", saying that children should be given the right to grow up freely.
do not realize that "unleashing nature" does not mean "indulgence, indulgence".
every child has both good and evil, lazy and diligent, clever and naughty when he is young.
what we want to release is the child's positive good nature, and then control the child's "evil" elements and guide the child to grow up on the "good" side.
as the psychologist Winnikot said:
if parents want to cultivate excellent and independent children, parents must cultivate these five kinds of consciousness as soon as possible.
sense of rules
as the old saying goes, "there is no square without rules."
those children who like to break the rules wantonly and ignore the rules will eventually be eaten back by the rules.
I saw a video a few days ago, and I couldn't help but feel frightened.
the child in the video is 3 years old, shuttling up and down the road with constant traffic.
one, two, three, four. Run and play, and rejoice in getting away from traffic every time.
until after the 10th trip, with a shrill sound of brakes, the child fell to the ground.
it makes people ask, where are the parents of the children, and why don't they care about the children?
perhaps, in the view of many parents, the child's nature is above all else, containing the nature, it is easy for the child to have rebellious psychology, and it will even restrict the child's development.
in fact, if parents do not teach, children will not understand where the boundary is and what the rules are.
Children's curiosity is endless, and behind their adventurous exploration, there are often dangers and tragedies hidden.
as one educator said, "abiding by the rules is the premise of freedom, and nature should be within the constraints."
parents have principles, education has a bottom line, and children have a sense of rules, which is the best armor and growth weapon for him.
the sense of independence
nowadays, more and more children have been nurtured into "Chinese-style giant babies" because parents have not given their children the opportunity to "grow up independently" at the beginning.
parents always take good care of their children when they are young.
whatever the child likes, he buys without restraint, and all the needs of the child can not help but meet him.
but when the child grows up, he is still a "minor" giant baby psychologically, inseparable from the state of "parasitic parents".
someone once said, "parents who never teach their children to be independent are the most ignorant and cruel." They are like eagles who don't teach young eagles to fly, but push them off a cliff in adulthood. "
We have seen too many similar reports with the same unfortunate ending:
A man who returned from Nanjing 10 years after graduation did not look for a job but ate the old age. The father angrily smashed his son's car and house, and the son threatened to fight hard with his father.
there is also a man who ruthlessly dragged and dragged his old mother and beat her in the street because his old mother could not come up with 20,000 yuan to help pay her debts.
when the moon is full, it loses; when the water is full, it overflows; if you love too much, it will also become a kind of injury.
parents indulge and do everything unprincipled again and again, so that children will only cling to their parents and be willing to fall.
only when parents withdraw from their children's world as soon as possible can their children regain the ability to live independently and have the strength to face life on their own.
holding hands is the most affectionate companion that parents give to their children, and learning to let go is the best choice to be responsible for their children's life.
self-discipline and non-self-discipline lead two different lives.
the same is true for children.
during the winter vacation, some children know how to make full use of the holiday time, combine work and rest, recharge themselves and replenish their knowledge and energy.
on the contrary, some children cheer for the coming "time when there is no class", planning how to amuse and play, and forget about learning and growth.
during the epidemic last year, the appearance of people during online classes exposed children's different attitudes towards learning.
lazy and depraved children, sweet words, deceive their parents' mobile phones to listen to lessons and learn, but they are actually playing games, chatting and chasing dramas.
self-disciplined and self-motivated children, even if they do not have superior learning conditions, they have to go out early and come back late, climb to the mountain with signals, or study hard by a lamp next to the village branch office on a cold night.
it is children's nature to lust for pleasure, and it is the unshirkable educational responsibility of parents to help children learn self-discipline.
just as the famous saying of Hengshui Middle School said:
Our rustic wedding dresses are made to unsettle even the casual looker. Take time to drink in these spectacular collections!
things should be preservative and people should guard against laziness.
have enough self-discipline now to achieve what you want in the future..
when their children are still young and have not yet developed the ability of self-control, parents should give them a timely push:
cultivate their children's time management ability and cultivate their habits of exercise and reading. Set an example to clock in records and complete learning tasks.
make sure your child understands deeply:
those who are self-disciplined are outstanding, while those who are lazy are out; you are as lucky as you are self-disciplined.
Professor Li Meijin once said:
I think so.
the ancients used to say: "if you are afraid, you will not dare to be virtuous, and if you are fearless, you will succeed from your desires."
A child without awe is like an indefinite time bomb that could explode at any time.
the case of a 13-year-old boy killing a 10-year-old girl in Dalian, which once caused a sensation in the country, is still vivid in people's memory.
Cai, who is under the age of 14, tricked the 10-year-old girl into her home, raised a knife at the girl after an attempted rape, and finally dumped the girl's body in the bushes downstairs.
the police solved the case quickly, but Cai pretended to be completely ignorant among his classmates and tried to find all kinds of excuses to act in an attempt to get rid of suspicion.
in fact, there are no natural demons in the world, but there are acquired Shura.
A neighbor once said that Cai had lifted the skirt of a young girl in the community, and the girl asked Cai's father for an explanation, but was loudly abused by her father.
in fact, there is a "bear parent" who is unreasonable and has no values between the "bear child" who is not in awe and the "murderer" who commits a crime.
parents know how to restrain and discipline their children, and cultivate their children's awe, which is the good luck of their children's life.
only when children understand that they are not the center of the world can they draw strength and wisdom from awe and move on to a brighter road.
raising children is definitely not a big truth, but also in the details.
whether children are educated or not depends on what kind of self-cultivation their parents have.
Last month, a girl in Beijing revealed that when she was eating in a restaurant, she first met a little boy making a noise in the lobby, and then when she went to the toilet, the toilet door (although locked, but loose) was forcibly opened by the boy.